by Kit Lindsey
You’re settling in for a peaceful Friday night in late October, there is no football game this week, no homework to be tackled, but you get a text: Costume Party tonight at John Doe’s!!! You should come! You enter into full-on panic mode. Maybe the zebra onesie wedged in the back of my closet? Maybe my brother’s jersey? Maybe I could just take a sheet and cut two holes for my eyes and then say boo every five minutes? – oh God, what am I going to do? Don’t panic, put down the scissors, and don’t you dare send that “Oh, I wish I could!” text and turn to Netflix. Here is the ultimate last-minute costume idea list that will get you to that party without a sheet over your head.
- Let’s start off with a bang, and a bang that requires minimal effort. Damian from Mean Girls. Let me rephrase: Undercover Damian. Pair a blue hoodie and shades, with a Sharpie and some paper, that’s it. Literally that’s it. If you’re too lazy for this, stop reading now.
- Become a crazy cat lady for the night, that is, if you aren’t already one. You’ll need a robe, cozy slippers, hot rollers (minus the hot), and some stuffed cats! This little model’s sass and retro sunnies are optional.
- Okay, okay, so I have a soft spot for the procrastinators out there. So this one is for the truly lazy, and the ones with the guts to show up to a party with cookware on their head. Be a pothead, kids!
- This takes bravery. This takes guts. Even more than the pot. This next costume is courtesy of yours truly – 6th grade Kit Lindsey. Pieced together in less than 2 hours, the only elbow grease required is hot-gluing some cotton balls to a pair of pink socks.
- A personal punny favorite! Chick magnet! Make sure you get your little sister’s permission before snagging her Barbies, though. Who wouldn’t wanna spend Halloween looking like this guy?
- We’re switching gears. Call up grandma and go digging through some old trunks. Gather feather boas, bell bottoms, Lennon glasses, whatever you’ve got. Hippies are a go-to costume, but this year kick it into high gear! But please, no matter how Woodstock you’re feeling, keep your Halloween drug-free and keep your shirts on! Sincerely, all your friends.
- Glitz, baby, glitz. Toddlers and Tiaras! Pop on a tank, a tutu, a tiara, and pop in a pacifier! (Not used.) And don’t forget to give that hair a good tease! This costume works solo or as a group.
- I have saved my personal favorite, the best last-minute costume; for last. Although it requires a slight amount of effort, only the truly dedicated Office fans can pull this one off. Printed face, though really the cake-topper of this masterpiece, completely optional. So go find your Jim and let him torture you, plant beets and be the best Assistant Regional Manager you can be, Dwight Schrute, ladies and gentlemen.